Email Funny

It’s emails like this one that leave me sitting here thinking of all manners of smart-ass responses:”I would love to slap your Ass and cunt hole !! “This email was courtesy of a 41 year-old-man. Happ_ Dominque:We both fully understand the consequence and know that we are very young but we feel like we are ready.(11 [...]
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Noella:
Why did he ask if I would move?
(13 June 2017)

Noella:
He asked if I would also move there?
(13 June 2017)

Noella:
I told guy about being accepted to an university 1 hour away and later he mentioned he know someone who moved there with her husband.
(13 June 2017)

Tammy:
Am I pregnant??? I'm so worried?
(13 June 2017)

Tammy:
I should be getting my period next week like on the 22nd or 23rd.
(13 June 2017)

Tammy:
No semen was involved when he fingered me..can i be PREGNANT?
(13 June 2017)

Tammy:
I've been getting spotting of blood up to today.
(13 June 2017)

Temeka:
My cousin is marrying a woman who is fraud? how to stop it?
(13 June 2017)

Temeka:
I told him this and he was surprised but said its ok he will stay marry her cause shes really pretty.. Is this a loss cause, shes a fraud,, how do i convince him?
(13 June 2017)

Temeka:
Where they are from..When I met her I asked her questions about life in England, she lied about everything.
(13 June 2017)